Struggling .... When Life Fucks With Your Mind..

What am I doing with my life. I just do not understand, Where am I going, Is it what I really want to do. I am confused, I am stuck, I am frustrated. I ask people to tell me things that I can do, I do a few, I ignore a few.. and then., I am back to square one. People  tell me I am good at writing.. I write.. and then.. I stop.. I keep on searching for things to do, but what is  that 1 thing that gives me the high. How do I find that? How do I look for that one thing  that will give me a kick..That Will keep me going .. My Job sucks.. My Work is not giving me a high, its boring and monotonous. No scope for improvement there, I wish to do more.. but nothing more I can do on that front. I wish I just new and one day I get a dream and it tells me EXACTLY what I should be doing. I hate this phase of my life.

You think you have figured out your life to the T, however one thing can change it.. drastically.. One step here and there and your life is completely off tracks.. that's what has happened here. Now.. I am seriously thinking of taking a trip.. I would just pack my bags and leave.. No Planning.. No Thinking.. Just Bloody take the first bus/train and leave.. Yeah.. May be I should do that.. May be that will give me a high.. or atleast some excitement, something new. But again.. My WORK.. Bloody WORK does not allow me to do even that. This Sucks.. But Today I promise myself.. I will do it.. Work or No Work.. I will go and take a Vacation.. I need one.. and sooon.. Insane stuff.. Ya.. Feels like am going insane.. bloody hell.. I need a break from Insanity.. I need a break from myself...